Thought Crime

Why I am not doing NaNoWriMo 2024...

Maleghast -

Introduction

I really wrestled with whether or not I should give NaNoWriMo another try this year, but in the end I have decided to be honest with myself - I just don't have the energy...

I am still always writing, I just don't get most of it "down on paper" and even then I don't share it a lot any longer - I don't really know why, sometimes when I do I actually get far more good feedback than I hope for - but right now I just don't have the heart for it...

Many things about my life are good, a small few things are not, but the real drain on my soul at the moment is the way in which the World seems dead set on disappointing me, and far more seriously than that (as my pleasure is of little. consequence) destroying itself in new and interesting ways, or hurting people, or both.

Gaza, South Lebanon, Israel and Iran


There are no words... There are those that say any criticism of Israel is an anti-semitic act, because to call into question the moral purity of the Jewish State is to pour scorn on Judaism and to fall into centuries-old habits of Jew-hating. These are often the same people that appear to have no problem criticising Iran for the very fact of being an Islamic Republic. Oh the irony...

I have no love for any of the regimes or organisations involved, and I am unafraid of the honest truth that my questions over their validity is in each case partly founded upon my mistrust of theocracy, but I have no animus towards people of Islamic or Jewish faith, whether at the individual, group, or state level. I have a problem with people who act in absolutist fashion and use violence to achieve or attempt to achieve their aims.

I have a problem with crimes against humanity. I believe it is possible to be critical of and even condemn the actions of the Israeli Government and yet love the people of Israel and wish them only peace and happiness. I believe that it is possible to offer the same condemnation to Hamas, Hezbollah, even the Iranian regime and yet love the people of Palestine, of Lebanon and of Iran and wish for them only peace and happiness. I am all to aware that my ancestors, and thus my cultural legacy is more than a little to blame for the current real politik in the Levantine Crescent, but I also know that there are factors that date back further and run deeper than my country's meddling in this benighted and yet beautiful region of the World.

In the end I am just lost for words, marooned on an island of despair that there is apparently no room for a simple peace. That the blood already spilled calls for nothing more nuanced than more blood in response. That any voice crying out into the storm begging for compassion, for humanity, for an end to it all must be seen by each faction as offering them nought but approbation and prejudice, rather than offering all the idea that they could achieve so much more through reconciliation, peace and partnership. Easy to say, clearly very hard to do, but if there is any duty owed to the people on all sides of these current conflicts by the Rest of the World it is to continue to call for peace and to do what we can to limit the egregious human tragedies unfolding on all sides.

I don't mean to pick on Israel and those she is in conflict with specifically, but of all the conflicts in the World it is the most difficult to discuss, so I have gone into some detail. Perhaps we can briefly consider...

The rest of the World

People are dying in their hundreds and thousands in Yemen, where Saudi Arabia has been prosecuting a war against Houthi Rebels for years at this point.

They are dying in droves in Sudan, a country that really needed more war and bloodshed less than anything else imaginable. The civil war that is raging in that benighted country is so horrifying that aid agencies and NGOs have been heard to comment that it is the greatest humanitarian emergency that no one is talking about.

The Russian Invasion of Ukraine continues to claim thousands of lives each month, combatants and non-combatants alike. This is essentially because of the egotistical if not megalomaniacal desires of a man who has a nuclear arsenal under his control, a man that cannot be checked by the rest of the World as we cannot be sure he will not use it.

The ongoing insurgency in the Maghreb is still claiming lives and ravaging the existence of civilians in Northern Africa - twenty-two years and counting. Islamic fighters who were essentially defeated at the end of the Algerian civil war have continued to fight for their interests, dragging areas of Mauritania, Tunisia, Mali and Libya all into their orbit of destruction and killing. The Salafist Group for Preaching and Combat, the GSPC, who are / were fighting to establish an Islamic state in Northern Africa and who essentially became the AQIM (al-Quaeda in the Islamic Maghreb) continue to engage in military and para-military actions against the various local governments in the region, as well as forces offered in support by the US and French governments, They want an Islamic Caliphate in Northern Africa and seem content to enter into warfare to attain it.

The Mexican Cartels and their ongoing war against one another, the Mexican authorities, the Mexican people as well as select American law enforcement agencies and civilians continue to cause untold harm and death over the drug trade. The sheer scale of the death and destruction that this ongoing conflict has led to, BEFORE we consider the lives ruined by drug addiction, is almost impossible to comprehend. Current estimates run to between 350k and 400k deaths directly attributable to the conflict, and estimates ranging from 60k to 100k people that are deemed to be missing or "disappeared" on top of that number. Sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Well it is, because it is more people than the United Kingdom Armed Forces lost in World War II, which according to the Commonwealth War Graves Commission was 383,700. (Clearly the estimate for total loss of human life due to the Second World War is between 75Mn and 80Mn, I am not comparing the Mexican Drug War with World War II, but that in the last thirty-five years a localised war between Drug Cartels and the authorities has directly led to an estimated 400k deaths does need some context)

The ongoing military action in Myanmar, both internally and in terms of ethnic strife against the Rohingya people, continues unabated. I don't know very much about this conflict, which is not to say that I know a lot about the others, but suffice it to say the level of suffering and death for apparently arbitrary reasons other than the pursuit of wealth and power for a tiny minority is monumental.

These conflicts each claimed ten thousand deaths at least in the last twelve months. They are the tip of the iceberg, but we are as a race killing each other all over the World to some lesser degree over resources, power, lines on maps, religion, invented ethnic differences and any number of other reasons that seem utterly pedestrian when set against the immense suffering and loss of life.

Anthropogenic Climate Change

Climate change is real. Just this week the effects of Climate Change on extreme weather events have claimed hundreds of lives (and still counting at time of writing) in Spain, due to catastrophic flash flooding. It is an unspeakable tragedy, because it was avoidable.

We, as a race, have been scientifically assured of Anthropogenic Climate Change in the form of Temperature Increase since the nineteen-seventies. Science has been quite sure about this for over fifty years. We have denied, ignored, and demurred for decades instead of caring for our planet and our environment.

There is little more to say - the World is quite literally burning and a tiny number of the Ultra Wealthy are still making it next to impossible to have an honest discussion about the issues, let alone actually confront some of the problems. The vested interests of the Billionaire class and how they affect the ability of our politicians to act or for the voices of ordinary people to be heard is staggering and hard to fathom as they are going to die along side the rest of us as the planet, which will be fine without us in the long term, punishes us for our short sighted hubris.

Misogyny

We live in a World where there is a tangible imbalance, an irrefutable inequality between men and women, and that imbalance was constructed by men, and is perpetuated by men. It even harms men, most men in fact, though not as much as it harms women.

Just this last week the discourse has been revitalised because a woman dared to use her position as a celebrity to reignite the conversation around the reality that women face vis à vis violence from men. Saoirse Ronan, the wonderful, Oscar nominated actor, pointed out in a true mic-drop moment that women are constantly evaluating their options for self-defence and escape during a conversation between her and two male actors, Paul Mescal and Eddie Redmayne, about the "fun" of learning about self defence and fighting tactics as part of their craft. In the moment it was a sobering perspective that did rather stall the conversation, appropriately so, I would say. Norton gave it room to breathe and then did his job and moved the conversation along, but it sparked a lively debate online and in the press.

We should be having that conversation in the United Kingdom. In the nearly four years since the horrific murder of Sarah Everard, more than 350 women have been murdered by men in our country. This year, UK Police Chiefs have estimated that two million women will be the victims of violence at the hands of men in England and Wales (so excluding Scotland and Northern Ireland) each year at current levels, and this figure is not expected to go down if current trends persist.

There is no doubt that we are living in a society that with one hand claims to be advanced, pluralistic and progressive and on the other has an unspoken acceptance of horrific violence against a group of people solely based on their gender, which is beyond unforgivable.

The tacit acceptance of violence against women is the foundation that all of the other pillars of sexism rest upon, unequal pay, poor healthcare outcomes, sexual harassment... There needs to be a change, it needs to come from men, and there is no way to hide from that, refute that or refuse that and retain any kind of moral authority.

If you are a man reading this, you are more likely to feel threatened and called out than be in agreement. You may be thinking "I don't hurt women", or "I don't behave in a sexist manner", and the honest truth is you are probably right. The thing is you know men who do hurt women, and you know men who are still openly sexist. You have a duty to expose them, restrain them and deny them your support. That is what I mean about the change coming from men. The men who are hurting and killing women are not going to change, but we need to lead the way to a society where the tolerance for their actions has genuinely evaporated to nothing, where rapists serve long, appropriate sentences, where men who kill women are never free to walk the streets again and by extension men that hold women back are stripped of their power by other men instead of being enabled by their cowardice.

Do not even get me started on the discourse and very real horrors of the Abortion debate in the USA, the so called Land of the Free and last remaining Super Power that claims for itself the mantle of the defender and model of democracy.

Just pause for a moment and consider what it might be like in other places in the World if the UK and the USA are so far behind the curve in terms of redressing the effects of misogyny.

Queer and Transgender Agendas

In the UK today it is better for people in the Queer community than it has ever been. Even the Transgender community, as a part of that wider community, enjoys greater visibility and acceptance than ever before.

The problem is that we are nowhere near equality on this front.

Not only is there still an admittedly diminished, but still present homophobia in our society, but the transphobia that is evident in no time flat if you take a look at the online world alone is a stain on our national identity. We ought to be a place that embraces difference and personal identity. We ought to be a society that taking our lead from the ethics of basic human rights and the compassion that flows from the basic premise that all people deserve basic dignity and respect not only welcomes but protects people that do not comply with the mainstream.

We are not that society.

For one reason or another, probably to do with my love for and association with a couple of subcultures that embrace difference, namely LRP/LARP Culture and Goth Culture, I know a lot of people that identify as Queer, whether in terms of their sexuality, gender or both. Not only that, I myself am a member of the Queer community as a Bisexual man. Was it my exposure to people from minority identities that showed me that they are people just like me, even though in so many ways we are different? I think that it is directly the experience of knowing people who have had to navigate society with such differences as secrets to be concealed, or identities to be pushed forward and all the journeys in between that has solidified my firm belief that we need a change in our society to properly and fully support the Queer Community and ensure that the people under its umbrella are not subject to prejudice, disadvantage or violence. I was raised to be accepting and tolerant, my parents instilled in me a knowledge that Queer people were not any different in any sense that matters, and are my equals and the equals of all, but I was exposed to a lot of homophobia and transphobia as I grew up, and I certainly did not embrace my own Queerness until later on in life. I pass pretty well for vanilla and straight in this World, and I know in that sense I have not struggled on this front, but I know so, so many who have and I am very much aware that while things are better, so much better, they are not yet ok, and there is plenty of work still to do.

There is no question that in the UK the fight is for the rights and dignity of the Trans community. There are loud, powerful voices who are intent on silencing the Trans community and who shroud their abject transphobia in the cloak of promoting the rights of women in particular, with a clear bias against Trans Women, but also remembering to attack Trans Men as though they are an affront to Lesbian Women instead of taking their gender seriously either.

The truth is that no single minority group is more likely to experience violence at the hands of society at large, and mostly men to be clear, than Trans Women, especially Trans Women of colour. That is not in doubt, the facts are in, and yet the transphobic narrative is one of claiming that violent men are pretending to be Trans to attach cis Women, Cis men are doing fine visiting violence, harm and death on Women, in public and in private, in spaces that are supposed to be Women-Only spaces, without having to open themselves to the social disadvantages that clearly exist by appearing to be Trans in an already hostile society.

The same arguments that were made by heterosexuals that homosexual marriage would somehow make a mockery of marriage are now being made by Gender Critical men and women that Trans Women and their lived experience makes some kind of mockery of the lived experience of Cis Women, and that alone needs to end. Moreover Trans Women are Women, and they want to be part of a gender identity that is already under siege from Men, so why there are Women looking to turn them away I really cannot understand, but then I am a Man...

As I have said, things are not perfect in the UK, but they are better than they have been for a long long time. Alas the World at large does not offer so pleasant a picture. There are places in the World where simply being homosexual is a death sentence - not a crime, a death sentence, There are places in the World where any kind of Gender divergence is similarly a death sentence.

There is a LOT of work to do, just on this.

Poverty; Children, Pensioners and the Rest

In the UK three in ten children are born into and live in poverty.

In the UK one in six pensioners live in poverty

The overall proportion of the UK population living in poverty is at its highest for twenty years - one in five people, actually 22% so a little more than one in five, are living in poverty.

As a member of the G7, the United Kingdom is one of the most economically powerful nations in the World, in terms of nominal GDP we have the sixth largest economy in the World.

Bluntly, it is a disgrace that anyone living in our country is living in poverty, let alone the moral failure that we have people living on the streets.

I am one of the lucky ones. Born into a family with financial prospects that turned into financial security, I was able to parlay my circumstances and my inherent privilege into a good education and a professional life that means I am also financially stable and should before I retire become financially secure. That does not mean I am unaware of the good fortune and social inequalities that I benefitted from to be who I am and what I have.

I am not going to apologise for any of that, but I am willing to be vocal if nothing else about the fact that given the wealth of our nation it is simply unforgivable that we do not raise the foundational standard of living for everyone in our country. We can afford it, if we choose to spend less on defence, less on graft (government contracts that are awarded to big businesses who pay their shareholders and executives well but then fail to deliver and need more or to be bailed out, not to mention other forms of corruption), less on demonising the poor and treating them with suspicion and the assumption of fecklessness.

We are told repeatedly that we all need to pay more tax if we want the services that we demand, and I am ok with paying more, I am not someone who feels that taxation is onerous. I benefit from the taxes I pay and it is fair that I pay more than people who earn less then I do and less than people who earn more than I do. That is definitionally fair. I do not begrudge people who need healthcare. The care that they receive while I am not really also in need of it, after all it would be bizarre while not needing a hip replacement that I demand one anyway as I pay my taxes, still benefits me by dint of improving the conditions of society as a whole.

We pay our taxes so that everyone is covered, and the system is fair. Demonising the poor or those with health issues that keep them from work is to ignore the huge proportion of luck in the equation and to claim a superiority that might be a useful political lever but is in truth nothing but a comforting fiction.

Having just elected a Labour government one might have hoped that these things would be addressed, but alas my worst fears as to the priorities and true values of Keir Starmer and his Cabinet have already started to maintain the status quo, waging war on pensioners by removing the Winter Fuel Allowance from the overwhelming majority of Pensioners, and making no moves to properly address Child Poverty, as yet, nor finding ways to actually lift up the working poor and the extreme poor in our country,

Again, if things are as bad as they seem to be in the UK, how much worse are they in the rest of the World. We all know that poverty in the US is a lingering death sentence, the poorest in American society dying younger and in greater numbers than anyone else, and America is supposed to be a progressive and rich nation. Having lived in The Philippines and lived cheek by jowl along the dividing line between insane wealth and abject poverty, I can tell you that it's so much worse in enough of the World that if you think about it for too long you just want to curl up in a ball and close your eyes.

I know, you want me to make a point...

Still my lack of energy seems a little inconsequential in the face of all this horror, right? I mean, poor little white man in his comfortable G7 pseudo democracy - I get it. What right do I have to call for peace, I am not looking for shelter having had my home bombed, nor am I attempting to rebuild my life after my children were slaughtered at a music festival. What right do I have to criticise society over the plight of Women, or to call for greater tolerance for the Queer community, and how can I as a high(er) earning member of the middle-class really have anything to say about the plight of the poor. I drive a car and its not an EV. I occasionally fly and I do not always recycle; how dare I opine on the governmental failures re Climate Change?

Well I hear that and I do not minimise it, but I am also a fellow human and the horror of just this part of the World's current narrative is so profound that in the end the failure to speak outweighs the comfort of my privilege. My personal fatigue is a side-effect, it is of no consequence in the face of the suffering of those on every side of this polygon of violence, hatred, terror and short-sighted selfishness. Yet I have to manage my existence and I have to decide to protect myself with ignorance and disengagement or I have to survive the spiritual malaise of living with my eyes open and acknowledge all this...

I crave some good news. I long for a sense that in my lifetime things have, in the aggregate become a little better, and honestly, right now, I am feeling more than a little hopeless and more than a little disappointed in us all, and somewhat as though we have all failed.

So when I try to raise the will to write something this is all I can write down. Stories, flights of fancy and fun are a distraction that I just cannot manage - thank goodness my family and I do not rely on my ability to write to pay our bills and buy our groceries.

I will try to write more. I will try to find value in my fiction, that there may be something worthwhile in a distraction, but last night, as I considered getting going on NaNoWriMo I just could not do it, and now you know why...